Pain Revealed
by FallIntoTheGrey
Summary: One-shot, possibly longer. When Elliot hears Olivia tell Melinda that she came the closest she ever had to being raped at Sealview, how will he react? Will it tear the partners apart or will their pain and anger bring them closer together? T for language.


**Hi! This is my first SVU fic and it's just a one shot about Elliot's reaction to Sealview if he had found out about it immediately after it happened. It probably won't be a full story because I don't have enough time to write a full fic, but it could have a few more chapters.**

**Like always, I own none of the characters I write about.**

**Please, read, enjoy, and review. Constructive criticsm is always welcomed!**

**_Pain Revealed_**

"Olivia, did he rape you?" Melinda asked, her face drawn with concern.

Just as Elliot handed Harris off to the waiting officer, he heard those words. He swiftly turned back, trying to make his presence secret while pretending to read the files in his hand. He gnawed on his lip, anxious yet terrified to hear the answer. He glanced at Harris' retreating form, hoping for his sake she said no.

Olivia hesitated for a moment, the tears gathered in her eyes glistening in the fluorescent lights. Her eyes fell to the floor for a moment, and Elliot unconsciously clenched his spare hand into a fist, his chest becoming tight. He couldn't have. He would pull him out of the retreating squad car and kill him if he did.

"It's the closest I've ever come," she finally answered, her voice raw with fear and anguish. The air gushed out of Elliot's lungs like he had been punched squarely in the stomach. The folder he held fell to the floor as he rushed out of the office, his feet pounding up the steps, leaving a wake of paper and rage behind.

Olivia looked past Melinda just in time to watch Elliot move quickly out of the building.

"I need to go," she said firmly, as she pushed past Melinda and strode out of the room. She found the papers strewn over the floor and rushed past them, taking the stairs two at a time.

As she emerged on the street above, she saw Elliot several yards ahead of her. "El," she yelled after him, breaking into a light run. Reaching him, she put her hand on his arm, trying to turn him to her. "El, talk to me."

"Why should I? You don't talk to me," he hissed, as he shrugged off her touch.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, standing behind him, stunned.

"He almost raped you, and you didn't tell me!" Elliot said, as he spun back on her, his eyes flashing with fury.

"Elliot, it's no big deal. We got him. He's not going to hurt anyone anymore."

"It's no big deal?" he choked out in disbelief. "It's no big deal?! Damn it, Olivia, he almost raped you!"

"And you're surprised by this? We knew he was doing that to many other women. I had to provoke him. That was just a risk I had to take," she said, taking up her strong stance.

"No, you didn't. I told you over and over that you shouldn't go undercover. You had no good reason to go undercover, even if it did get him behind bars. You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't, so why are you overreacting?"

"Overreacting? I'm not overreacting. I'm reacting exactly the way I should when I find out my partner was almost raped! You should have listened to me," he raged, his hands flying around his head in over exaggerated gestures.

"Elliot, don't start trying to make me feel bad about what I did. A rapist is behind bars now because of _me_. Are you trying to make me regret that?"

"No, I'm trying to make you see that you were incredibly stupid. I told you from the beginning that going undercover would be dangerous. I told you you needed back up. You knew it wouldn't be safe without me there!"

"So Fin doesn't count as backup?"

"He's not your partner! I'm your partner, Olivia! I'm the one who is supposed to be there! I'm the one who is supposed to save you!"

"What is wrong with you? We caught the perp. I'm fine. What is your problem?"

"My problem? Liv, my problem is you were almost raped and I wasn't there to save you. I wasn't there to rip the guy's penis off like I so want to do right now. I wasn't a good partner."

"So, you're going to make this about your shortcomings? You have to feel all of this guilt, just so you still feel like a man?"

"I have to feel all of this guilt because I let you be your irrational, stubborn self. I knew it was going to be dangerous, but I didn't try harder to make you see that you were wrong. I didn't stop you from taking the job and you took it, just so you could keep up your badass cop image."

"What, now we're going to get into a pissing match over who's stronger, over who's the bigger man?" Olivia screamed, tears welling in her eyes once again. "Elliot, I'm fine. Just drop it."

"Don't give me that shit! Olivia, he almost raped you! How could you not tell me?"

"Because he _almost_ raped me. It didn't actually happen. And you know as well as I do that a victim is only a victim when they are really raped. Not almost."

"You know this is different!"

"How is this different?"

"Because it is."

"So, now we're back to talking like children? You can't tell me why I'm different?"

"Because, Liv, you're my partner. For nine years. Hell, I see you more than I see my wife. You're the person I see every day. You're the person who patronizes me and makes me feel like crap while backing me up and being my friend. Because you _are_ different."

"Elliot, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. I've gotten through much worse."

"Liv, you can't be Badass Benson all the time. You're hurt," he said, glancing at the dark bruise on her jaw, "and you can't keep that inside you forever. Liv, I know you better than I know myself—maybe even better than you know yourself—and I know that this is eating you up inside, but you're too proud to let anyone in."

"El, I'm fine. There is no deep-seated anguish here. Nothing happened in the basement. You have no reason to be so concerned," Olivia said, the sense of finality in her voice not matching the pained look on her face. Her eyes fell from his as tears flooded them; she could not meet his threatening, comforting gaze.

"If you're fine, then why are you about to cry?" Elliot asked, his shoulders slackening as he took a few steps toward her.

Olivia looked up to the sky, trying as hard as she could to blink back her tears. She couldn't break down in front of Elliot. It would just make things worse.

It was the stench of that basement that came back to her first. The smell of the slim on the walls, his sweat as he threw her against the door and cuffed her to it, her sheer terror. Tears trickled down her cheeks as memories started to pull her under.

"I'm crying because, for Christ's sake, Elliot, I was almost raped! I have never been more scared in my life and…" she paused, as she felt her chest tighten. "And you weren't there."

She felt her legs give out on her as Elliot's arms wrapped around her, pulling her into him as they fell to the sidewalk. He held her gently in his arms, as she pressed her face into his shoulders, her rapid tears wetting his jacket. Situating his arms underneath her, he slowly lifted to his feet and pulled her into his chest. He walked back to Melinda's office and silently walked in, settling into a chair. Melinda watched them with sympathy, but remained quiet, letting them come to terms with their grieve together.


End file.
